GUY ON THE RIGHT GETTING A DRUG CHARGE CAUSE SOME NARC HASN'T SEEN "NEXT FRIDAY"

Daily Mail -"Depending on who you speak to, Jaquan 'Jay Cash' Layne either has a love for crack cocaine and marijuana..or cognac and ugly ladies. Both words were used in a surveillance recording of 20 year old Layne, who is accused of being the head of notorious Harlem gang Goons On Deck. He and four other members of the 137th street gang are facing charges relating to drug dealing and weapons offenses. Layne, already in prison on other convictions, was recorder talking to associates on a pay phone in Rikers prison. It was during these conversations that Layne used slang terms, and the meaning of these terms led to the bizarre and amusing sparring match between Detective Alfred Hernandez, of the NYPD drug enforcement task force, and Layne's lawyer Frank Rothman. Detective Hernandez told the court that 'yak' was a rhyming code for cocaine while 'scud' referred to marijuana. Mr.Rothman said that, in Layne's world, 'yak' was a contraction of cognac and that 'scud' referred to a female who appears to be attractive from a distance but who isn't, close up."

So essentially my man Jay Cash is getting accused of running shop from prison and the narc says he knows this cause of the slang he's using on the phone. I'm no student of the law, but I'm pretty sure I'd handle this pretty easy and just be like "Judge, please see the 33 second mark of exhibit A- Pinky." Case closed.

TRUE OR FALSE: SARAH JESSICA PARKER IS GROSS AND HER FEET VEINS MAKE ME WANT TO PUKE

The answer is unquestionably true. If I didn't read the article and saw the picture, I'd have thought  these were an old ladies feet. Like Betty white or some shit. Just fucking gross. Why do people think she's attractive? Look at her and her stupid fucking hair and ugly narrow head. Oh and her outfit looks like a table placemat. Clean your shit up.  

I NEED THIS GIRLS PHONE NUMBER AND I NEEDED IT YESTERDAY

This picture is obviously old, cause it was from the Monday night game, but this is the chick who was sitting next to us who was grinding on me and had the tattoo on her ass that she showed everyone. I should have just proposed to her at the game. Much better fan than the annoying broad in the Bills jersey at the pub on Sunday..girl had to be told when the Bills scored, then screamed in my ear. Like, yo girl, i was just at Scarlets for four hours and didn't sleep, my head is still pounding from house music..shut the fuck up

ps- if you're wondering why you cant see me in the pic, its cause I was in the stairway jumping up and down like a little kid

CHELSEA V SWANSEA 4-1

Impressive game to say the least. 10 men shmen men, Blues dominated the whole game for all but like two minutes. The big story was obviously my boy Torres who scored a very classy goal and then got sent off on an awfully harsh red. The ref Mike Dean, who can be seen flashing a nice heil hitler salute at the :16 mark in the clip, was terrible the whole game. Guy had no control. Books Mata for something, then no booking for a worse foul on a Swansea player. Pretty consistent. There was no way that Torres' tackle was worthy of a red. He's a fucking forward, dude isn't gonna have a text book slide and that fucking pussy Mark Gower, who was bitching about the tackle after. Explain how Gower can go down like his shin was broken, then say he was "grazed". Shit is all fucked up. Either way, I loved seeing Torres out there not fucking around, showing some fire. Only a sign of good things to come.

game notes:

-Torres was pumped when Mata was signed and its obvious why. Mata's ball to Torres was on the spot, perfect ball and a great finish. 

-Ramires can cover the entire field like its nothing. Guy is a maniac out there. Both his goals were well assisted, including a hockey assist from Torres.

-Game well in hand, why would Lampard expect to play or even want to go out there and risk something happening? Game was a perfect opportunity to use a sub on a young player to get some league PT. I hope that the rumors of Frank being upset is just English media being English media

-How bout my boy Didier coming in for the first time since getting sucker punched and getting his first goal of the season. Definitely nice to see and good for him. Good sign for the team since they'll be without Torres

CHELSEA V FULHAM (4)0-(3)0

click this- i dont know how to work gifs

Since I've been following The Blue's, PK's mean one thing and one thing only: disaster. For some reason though, I had a good feeling about yesterday shootout and it turned out to go Chelsea's way. I mean 10 men for 70 minutes and being the team to force the issue is just solid soccer karma. But that's not the main story here. Since apparently FSC thought Serie A is more important than the Carling Cup, I had to watch a stream of the game on the computer, which wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have the worst fucking internet luck in the world. It follows me everywhere. In New York, it was terrible, figured it was just Time Warner just fucking with me to get us to upgrade. So when I moved back down to the house in Boca, figured I would at least getting better connection..nay. I could plug an ethernet cable from my comp into a server at AT&T headquarters and I'm positive it'd still be bad. So on Ruiz's shot, I had no clue if it went in or not, but heard the crowd cheer which is always a positive sign for a home game. 

Game notes:

-The first half was pretty bad to watch, streaming wise. Froze during McEachran's try and Sturridge's offside call, so can't give a fair assessment on it. But from what I could see, McEachran played well and it was good to finally see him get some run.

-Thought a straight red for Alex was bullshit. Definitely got all ball first, a PK was even questionable, but I'm biased. Either way, it definitely altered the tactic's/sub's the rest of the game. Good to see AVB make solid adjustments and changes. 

-My boy Lukaku played too well not to find the net, but it's coming for him. Kid worked and played very hard and it's gonna pay off for him soon. Believe dat. Luiz and Romeu also were studs, youngbloods got game.

-Classic this season Frank missing the first PK. Guy is struggling. Also on the struggling note, Flo is just amazingly unreliable. He is the literal definition of a Jekyll and Hyde player

-Overall good win for the mentality of the team and even better the young players had a big hand in it

THIS GUY STABBED HIS MOM TO DEATH CAUSE SHE DIDN'T BUY HIM AVRIL LAVIGNE TICKETS..WAIT, WHAT?

Daily Mail -"A son stabbed his mother to death and poured chemicals over her body after she refused to buy him tickets to and Avril Lavigne concert, a jury was told. Robert Lyons, 39, is facing a possible life sentence after being found guilty of first degree murder. Angry that his mother, 61 year old Linda Bolek, wouldn't call a friend to arrange concert tickets, Lyons stabbed her nine times in the back and then doused her with insecticide and drain cleaner..'The defendant was washing something away. He was washing away the problem in his life, his mother' Assistant State's Attorney Amanda Meindl told a DuPage County court in Chicago yesterday.."

Look, living at home isn't easy. I'm doing it now, its not the best thing in the world. For instance every time I go to the kitchen to get something to eat, I'm told I shouldn't eat it cause I'm "too fat" or I need to "learn portion control". Or getting told I use too many towels, then after using the same towel for two days, she says I'm not changing towels enough. Cool, ma. Those are things you get pissed at your mother for. Murdering her? Debatable. But Stabbing and dousing her with chemicals over not getting tickets to Avril Lavigne is definitely crossing the line. What I really wanna know is if this guy was gonna wear a tie like all those girls in high school used to do when Avril Lavigne was popular. He looks like that type. 

ps- How pumped was the states attorney to bust out that "washing away" line. Real smooth

pps- Avril Lavigne still has concerts?

SQUIDS GETTING DOWN CREED BRATTON STYLE

Daily Mail -"Male deep sea squid end up mating with members of their own sex as they cannot see properly in the murky depths of the ocean, scientists believe. Researchers discovered the mishap using a remote controlled submarine in the Monterey canyon off California. Their footage showed males belonging to the squid species Octopoteuthis Deletron struggled to distinguished between potential mates and members of the same sex 800 meters down in the dimly lit Pacific."

I could care less about gay squid, but when I saw the story I couldn't help it cause it gave me a perfect excuse to post this video, which is the only point to this blog