TEBOW? PLEASE

Nothing good happens when the Pats play in Denver (not including the "intentional safety" game). But today is the perfect day to turn it around cause of all the Tebow hype and what he's gonna do. He's gonna get his dick smashed in, thats what he's gonna do. 

MAXIM KIDDING ME WITH THIS COVER?

I had a friend insist that jwoww had no plastic surgery after season one of jersey shore and i've resented jwoww ever since and get annoyed just looking at her face. Pretty gross how fake she looks, like she's Heidi Montag or something. Look at her before and after pics, its kinda funny. The only jwoww i know is the one who has boss armpit sweat

DOG OF THE WEEK: COOPER

COOOOOOOP here I just met the other day. He came with a huge warning from my co-worker that he will hump relentlessly if you pay him too much attention, so at the risk of getting nutted on and my leg abused by this English Bulldog I ignored him all week except for this picture. But observing him, I picked up on his routine of waking up, humping his pillow all over the office, eating breakfast, dumping on his walk, then sleeping the rest of the day. The life...

THIS IS 100% FAKE

When I was about 13 at sleep away camp, one of the evening activities was "a night at the races", which is the counselors teaming up in pairs and then each bunk bets on a pair during various events. One of the events was the piggyback race. This one counselor Miriam was paired up with her brother Aaron, who probably weighed about 150 soaking wet and she picked him up first. The race starts, she takes ONE STEP and crumbles and screams. SHE SNAPPED HER FEMUR BONE...snapped it. Night at the races ended shortly after, but to this day I still have a hard time believing I saw that happen. So there is no way I'm going to think that all 115 pounds of Hoopz is gonna pick up 350 pounds and carry him on her back. Just not possible under the Okun Law's of Physics

HOW BOUT THEM BLUES!

Slow start, but after about 20minutes it was all Chelsea. I don't blame Clichy for getting sent off, the alternative of getting his dick handed too him by Sturridge all game in front of millions of people

WHOEVER PICKED THIS PUZZLE IS AN ASSHOLE

This was the final puzzle on Wheel of Fortune tonight, which the guy didn't get. Pat Sajak said that the puzzles are random, but I don't know why the dude is laughing this off like its no big deal. I'd be fucking pissed if this happened to me. Whoever picks the puzzle obviously was having a shitty day to punk someone on national TV so bad. Might as well have made it "fucking loser" instead

DOG OF THE WEEK: SEAMUS

Seamus (shay-mus) is apart of my golden brood at work. Problem with this stunning guy is he's way bigger than every other dog at work. He literally bulldozes dogs and then lays on them like he's in the WWE. He even went buck wild on Reef and took a chunk out of his neck. My poor boy had to get stitches. So after that, I decided that if Seamus wanted to wrestle, he'd have to wrestle me since I'm the only one who'd be a fair fight. And not to brag, but I kick his ass all the time, just look how defeated I leave him. Not so tough anymore, are you big guy?

HEY MANCHESTER...EAT IT, DICK BAGS

I was gonna write a follow up blog today about how pumped I am after Chelsea's win yesterday. Then I get home from work and turn on the games today and see that Man City was about to be knocked out and more importantly, those scumbag ManU pussies are losing to Basel..Basel! Just amazing to watch them get eliminated like that. Look at Ferguson's face here. You cold, old man? Or just ashamed at getting punked, cause your face is bright fucking red. Makes yesterday's result so much better. Great couple days of football

WHY DO MEN KEEP LETTING AGGRESSIVE WOMEN NEAR THEIR JUNK?

Daily Mail -Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and a woman scorned knows the best place to hurt a man is in his pants. At least thats how Maryann Scott got her revenge on her husband when he took $15,000 ring her had given her and hid it. When she noticed the ring was missing, she allegedly picked up a knife and then 'firmly grabbed his left testicle and refused to let go for two minutes. Scott's husband who has not been named called 911 after his testicle was freed and later took a picture of his crotch which showed 'red marks and bruising' from Scott 'grabbing it and holding it so hard'...When the husband showed the photograph to a sheriff's official, they arrested her and charged her with battery.."

Just not understanding why men allow themselves to let angry and bat shit crazy women anywhere near their nuts during a domestic dispute. There was that woman who inexplicably, some how, BIT OFF her boyfriends sac and now we got this lady who's trying to pop a nut. My biggest issue is what a fucking pussy this guy must have been to let this happen for two minutes. I would have bit her fucking nose off if I was him. 

Sheriff must have been thrilled when he got this call and the husband said "don't worry, I have proof, here's a picture of my dick for you to inspect"

DIDIERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Guy is just the fucking man. End of story. 

I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO WANT THEIR RIVALS TO DO GOOD

First off I want to say that the BCS is totally fucked this year. Just makes absolutely zero sense that a rematch between conference teams is possible to decide a national champion. Alabama gets beat on their HOME FIELD by LSU and now they play again on a neutral field?? Fucking joke, LSU will win by 20. And Oklahoma State would have beaten LSU, just saying

Having said that...After the BCS announced the game, saw a couple status's on facebook about how people from other SEC schools were pumped that the SEC had two teams in the title game...uhhh why? Isn't it a part of being a fan to hate your rivals? Like how does an Auburn fan possibly get excited that Alabama could win a championship? And its not just college football. I know a Marlins fan who always wants the NL East team to win the World Series and never understood it. If the Sox aren't in the playoffs, the team I'm pulling for is the team playing the scumbag Yankees. None of this "same division" bullshit. The day I cheer for the Yankees to win the World Series is never. Will never happen. I'll cut my dick off before I get excited about the Yankees winning the pennant. In my opinion, it makes you a shitty fan to want your rival to win and you're also really fucking lame

PS- it took me 30 minutes to find the picture above. No clue who they are, just wanted chicks from different SEC schools posing together. I typed in "SEC fans together" and there were a few dozen pictures of girls giving blowjobs and fingering themselves. Get your shit together Google Images 

LITTLE KID GETTING HIS BOBBY HILL ON

Daily Mail -A 7 year old Massachusetts boy is being accused of sexual harassment after he punched another student in the groin while he was being choked, according to the boy's mother. Mark Curran says he was riding his elementary school bus home when a bully stole his new gloves and choked him, prompting him to act in self defense. 'I think my kid was right to fight back,' his mother told the Boston Globe...But now her son faces suspension or transfer to another school if he found guilty of the attack, according to a letter from Tynan Elementary school...'I just thought they were going to call the parents, tell us both to come in and make the boys shake hands,' Marks mother said. But instead, she says the began questioning her son on the incident and to his recollection. 'They didn't believe me..I didn't get my gloves back,' he told the Globe on Thursday. According to Marks mother, the school principal told her 'It doesn't matter who hit who first'. 'He said he hit him in the testicles,' the boys mother recalled of the principal. 'That's assault. That's sexual assault.'"

Kind of don't care about this story but all I could think of when I saw the headline was the episode of King of the Hill when Bobby is getting bullied and goes to women's self defense where he learns to kick guys in the nuts when he gets attacked. One of the best King of the Hill scenes ever. I just hope for Mark's sake, he screamed "THATS MY PURSE" before he kicked the kid in the nuts, which makes it an open/shut case of self defense

THANK FUCKING GOD

HUGE fucking win by the Blues. All night at the pub, I couldn't stop thinking about having to get up at 7:45 to sit through a wicked tense, make or break match, on the road, against a team above Chelsea in the table. Just way to tense. Got 3 hours of sleep, I slept on the couch just to be able to wake up easier since I'd be uncomfortable. How am I rewarded for this devotion? A TEXT BOOK DIDER DROGBA HEADER RIGHT UP NEWCASTLES FUCKING ASSES, THATS HOW! Huge win and no one better to set us straight than The Mighty One himself

DOG OF THE WEEK: MAX

Im house sitting/watching my neighbors dogs Frankie and Maxie here while they are away. Been here all week and now its Friday and we're gettin ready for the showdown tomorrow morning at Newcastle and ready to throw some coin on OK State tomorrow night. Got drunk last night and was staring at Max wondering why I like him so much and I realized its cause he reminds me exactly of my favorite childhood stuffed animal Buford...