DOG OF THE WEEK: STELLA

Steeelllllllllaaaaaaaaaa. Does this not look like a dog thats owner went to culinary school?? Look at her just sitting on the couch all like "ay pop, get me a beer fix me some chicken scarp immediately..with a mothafuckin milkbone on the side yo...and put the Gator game on the TV too, shiiiiit."

DOG OF THE WEEK: TEDDY

His father wouldn't agree, but I essentially raised this dog from a pup into the young man he is today. Came to me at Club Bow Wow just a few weeks old and now after seeing him everyday for several months, taught him right and wrong and showed him what lifeeeee is all about. When I left working there, he was one of the few dogs I actually missed getting to see everyday. But I had to go drop something off there earlier in the week and he was in there and before I even got to the office door, he heard my voice, he was going ballistic since he was hanging in there. Look how happy he was to see me. Makes a man feel good that a dog will be so loyal and remember him. Dogs...

OPENING DAY

Game was so boring that Rob and Simon challenged me to see how many Guinness I could drink in 40minutes. I got through six and my day is now completely shot. But I'll take wins like this all season, even if the last 80minutes are almost unbearable 

By the way...Eden Hazard is kind of good

DOG OF THE WEEK: LUCKY

Mini-Schanuzer here lives up to his breed by being LOUD AS FUCK all day at day care. Pretty sure I'm the only person that likes him there, but c'mon, he's pretty cute. Little smooth shiny coat. Plus, when he runs, its like his front legs don't beg. It'd he equivalent of not not moving your arms when you walk. It's hysterical watching him run at you

ALEX FERGUSON CALLS ARSENE WENGER AND TELLS HIM TO SELL RVP TO UNITED. WENGER SAYS "OK COOL"

All it took to convince him to let RVP play for ManU was Ferguson having to call Wenger? Really? Wouldn't be surprised if they transcript of their phone call becomes public and after Ferguson offered 23mill, we find out Wenger said something like "24 million pounds and I'll let you ass fuck me on midfield at Wembley because you're just not publicly humiliating me enough".  What is Arsene Wenger doing here anyway, whats his end game? Van Persie won't resign? He wants to leave this summer? Hey Arsene...HE HAS ANOTHER YEAR ON HIS CONTRACT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.  The club made Fabregas stay like an extra 18 months probably just for him to play out his deal and he didn't even want to play for a club in England. Now he thinks its a solid thinking to sell his best player and the league MVP to a direct rival, a team they haven't been above in the league table since 2005? As a Chelsea fan I gotta admit I can get used to seeing Arsenal get burned and emasculated every summer. Players flat out saying they want to leave to have a chance to "win trophies". Being forced to wear jersey's then reluctantly having to take it off. And now we got rival managers calling up the Arsenal front office and telling them how its gonna be. Good luck to you Gunner fans this season, enjoy the most of it and be sure to thank Theo Walcott for his service before Chelsea come get him next summer. All it'll take is a phone call apparently

PS- Just want to say that from the other end of the spectrum, United getting RVP, I could give a shit. Big deal, they add a striker to Hernandez, Welbeck, and Rooney. None of them play midfield and Sir Alex doesn't seem to be the 4-2-4 type. So when they sign Wesley Sneijder or Luka Modric let me know. But until then, RVP or no RVP, Chelsea gonna cruise to the title this year

YEAH LIZ, WHO'S THE CUTE BOY???

If you cant see, first comment on this pic is some broad asking "who the cute boy is?". Anybody recognize him? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?? Buelllerrrrrrrr?

BONER CITY

Don't care what anyone thinks, I think Katy Perry is hot. So when her ass crack in right in my face and I know her tits are hanging out of her bathing suit, I'm gonna get excited about it. It science

DOG OF THE WEEK: SHON POOLE

Bichon's are my least favorite breed of dog. For every one cute one, there's 15 ugly ones. Which brings me to Shon here. I'm putting this chunk of a dog up beacause I like his name with his owners last name. Shon Poole. He looks exactly like a dog named Shon Poole would look. I mean look at this ridiculous thing. The main reason I like when this dog comes in is because his name reminds me of Jean-Paul from Seinfeld. I'm always like "ahh Shon-Poole Shon-Poole"

WOMAN HAS AN ITCHY EAR CAUSE A SPIDER WAS LIVING IN IT

Daily Mail -"She arrived at China's Changsha Central Hospital with an itchy ear, only to learn the cause was a spider that had crawled into the ear canal. To make things worse, doctors believe the arachnid had been in there for five days. Fortunately for the woman, there was some good news- doctors told her the problem would have been far worse if she had tried to scratch it. At first the medics planned to use tweezers to grab the spider and pull it out- but they were worried the creature might bite the patient. Instead, Dr. Liu Sheng and his colleagues poured a saline solution into the ear and waited for the spider to leave on its own. Fingers crossed it didn't lay any eggs..."

Fingers crossed it didn't lay any eggs, huh? If this happened to me, you know what would have also been in my ear next to the spider? The bullet that I would have shot into my head. I mean I almost crash when I'm driving when I see a spider inside my car, so spider in my body isn't gonna fly with me. Props to this woman for not scratching it either. The first hint of an itch in my ear results in my scratching it within seconds

And I would have loved to have been in the room when the doctor put the scope in her ear and saw 29 eyeballs staring at him. Priceless

DOG OF THE WEEK: ANCHOR

Doesn't Anchor seem like it should be a male dogs name? Either way, she's like a year and a half old, a chocolate lab. I think her being still for 3 seconds to take this picture is the longest I've seen her go without running around. The picture below doesn't count cause it was after she body slammed Reef