Tuesday, May 8, 2012

DAY TWO: GAME DAY PART 1



In my life, I've woken up to getting a blow job only twice...TWICE. That's literally one of the most depressing sentences I've ever written. But besides those two times (and waking up for my first Pats game at the old Foxboro), I've never woken up happier than knowing I was actually gonna see a Chelsea game at The Bridge. Mari figured that out when I woke her up by blasting "Blue is the Colour" then demolishing an entire can of Pringles to help me not throw up. 
Was supposed to meet the person who had my ticket at 1230 so to kill time I went to "pre-game" at some bar down the street. By "pre-game" I mean slouch against the bar nursing a stella and eating peanuts by the pint. Walked down to the stadium, had no clue who I was meeting cause I found the person on craigslist, so I went to the arranged meeting spot not knowing who to look for. Bout 30min to kickoff a tinnyyyyy Asian woman comes up and asks if I'm Jeff and gives me my ticket. Honestly could have been a 12 year old kid, still not sure. Got to my seat, had to get in tourist mode and get someone to take my picture. Asked some guy and everyone around the area was staring at me like "look at this asshole". But jokes on them cause picture got me like 30 likes on facebook, most of all time for me, so they can blow me


There's not really much to say about the game itself cause Danny Sturridge skulled a goal 43secs into the game in the net closest to me and then got to see Torres with his first Chelsea hat trick . One thing I will say about the game is that I was worried how to carry myself since I went alone. But since Sturridge scored so quickly, I found out what it'd be like cause the guy next to me put me in a headlock and hugged me. Couldn't really ask for much more for my first Chelsea game, especially at The Bridge.  Except the fact that the sun finally came out and I found out that, if I really wanted to, I could wipe my ass with Arsenal's logo


(seriously though, 3 for 10pound? I get its a novelty or whatever but for 10pound I could get almost two 12 packs of Charmin toilet paper with aloe)





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