"THE VOICE" HAS BEEN OVER FOR WEEKS NOW

just give cassadee pope her trophy and call it a show
— Jeffrey Tartarkin (@Jtartarkin) November 20, 2012

  Are we about done here yet? I mean what else needs to happen before she can just collect her winnings. Nothings changed since last month. I knew she'd win then and I know she'll win now. I mean its a no brainer that she's way better than everyone else. Just glad everyone can see I've known for weeks she was a lock and happy she decided to throw it in everyones face with "Stupid Boy" last night. Just give the woman her trophy already (and my phone number)

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER PEED SITTING THE OPPOSITE WAY ON THE TOILET?

This episode was on tonight when I was writing and got me thinking that what butters is discussing here is whats known as taking a shit "AC Slater Style". Though I actually like the way Butters describes it because it actually sounds like it should/could make sense. I mean the top of the toilet if its flat would be perfect for your comic book and chocolate milk. I've never done it, mostly because I'm very structured when it comes to pooping, so something so unconventional would never fly with me. But I will admit and not ashamed to say that I have taken a piss like that before. First think you'll think if I'm gonna sit down, why not do it the right way. Two things: sitting down like that is only reserved for pooping for me. On top of that, since I can count how many times I've pissed like that on two hands, its always when I'm hungover or drunk. That way I can rest my head for 20 seconds and if I pass out, I won't be hunched over, straining the shit out of my back. 

PEOPLE REALLY THINK THE SAN FRAN QB SITUATION IS THE SAME AS BRADY AND BLEDSOE?

Grantland -"Q: Is it just me or does this 49ers QB reek of the Patriots situation when Bledsoe was injured and eventually replaced by Brady on a permanent basis?
— Matt, San Francisco

SG: Couldn't agree more. And that was even more polarizing at the time — people mistakenly thought Bledsoe was better than he was (I wasn't one of them), and they just couldn't accept that Brady was a better fit for the specific offense the Patriots had in 2001 (more precision, more dink-and-dunk, more sleight of hand). We never knew Brady was going to become TOM BRADY, but we knew there was something special about him, and that it was probably worth exploring (especially since Bledsoe wasn't really DREW BLEDSOE anymore)...Feels like the same thing is happening here with the Niners...I'm a little frightened of Kaepernick in January. And I wasn't frightened of Alex Smith. Same for Brady and Bledsoe 11 years ago. So yeah, I see the parallels."

I know the two examples I used above weren't the best two people to use. One a maniac ex-linebacker who spit in JJ Stokes' face and broke Dave Meggett's finger just because; and the other a traitor, sell-out, wanna be, the detestable Bill Simmons. But I've heard and read the same opinion from others and I just don't get it. 

The only thing thats similar is the fact both situations involve quarterbacks. Bledsoe goes down in week two after getting sternum'd by Mo Lewis. Brady comes in the next week and the Pats skull the Colts 44-13 and goes 5-3 (one of the loses being to the Rams who were the best team in the league) up until Bledsoe was finally cleared to play. Thats eight weeks to get a feel for what Brady was gonna do for the team and Belichick went with the guy who carried them into playoff contention. Eight weeks. 

Jim Harbaugh takes one week to rest Alex Smith and starts Kaepernick against JASON CAMPBELL and the Bears in San Fran. Then when Smith is healthy to play against the Saints, Harbaugh says Kaepernick has the "hot hand" and starts him again. Does a three point shooter in the NBA make a lay-up and say he's got the hot hand? To Kaepernicks credit, he played well against the Saints and I'm not saying he's not better than Smith, but Harbaugh clearly just wanted/needed and excuse to get Kaepernick on the field. (People can talk about how much balls Harbaugh has to make a change midseason like this, but he's kind of a pussy for not putting his money where his mouth is from the start of the season... Or, actually now that I think about it, he rope-a-doped the league and now has a pretty nasty quarterback with fresh legs, which kinda makes him pretty smart)

So what can we take from this? A few things: 1. A guy having two good weeks in the last half of the season isn't the same body of work as watching someone lead a team from the start of the year. 2. Jim Harbaugh was definitely pumped when he realized Alex Smith had a concussion and could start Kaepernick 3. Bill Simmons sucks

DAVID STERN HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIS SHIT

ESPN -The NBA fined the San Antonio Spurs $250,000 for withholding key players in Thursday night's game against the Heat. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich sent stars Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili, plus key role player Danny Green, on a commercial flight home instead of playing them in the nationally televised game so they could rest ahead of the Spurs' Saturday home game against the league-leading Memphis Grizzlies. Said NBA commissioner David Stern in a statement: 'The result here is dictated by the totality of the facts in this case. The Spurs decided to make four of their top players unavailable for an early-season game that was the team's only regular-season visit to Miami. The team also did this without informing the Heat, the media, or the league office in a timely way. Under these circumstances, I have concluded that the Spurs did a disservice to the league and our fans.' The league's statement said the Spurs were in violation of league policy reviewed with the board of governors in April 2010 against resting players in a manner 'contrary to the best interests of the NBA.'

Guy is fucking bat shit crazy. 250k????? He's obviously reached the old man "I don't give a shit about anything" stage of his life to fine a team like this because he didn't like it. How bout fining your schedule maker for having the Spurs play five games in seven nights and two HOME games in seven nights for the Heat. Just asinine on so many levels. Pretty sure Tim Duncan in like 42 years old, you expect him to play two back to backs a week? K bro. And I don't even give a shit about the Spurs. But I do hate David Stern with a fucking passion. But I guess after this I should start feeling bad for him since he's obviously becoming wicked senile. Probably days away from committing 51-50's in a Brentano's

DOG OF THE WEEK: BELLA & BRUNO

This week I got two dogs for "DOG" of the week, which has a "Lone Rangers" feel to it. But remember Bob Geller? These are Bob's two other sibilings. Bella is on our left, and Bruno is the black/white dog. Italian Greyhounds were never my thing, but they come from the Geller family, so they're alright in my book

MACHO CAMACHO PROBABLY FEELING DECENT ABOUT DYING RIGHT NOW

ESPN -"Several fights broke out during the second day of the viewing of the slain fighter Tuesday, including a scratching match between his alleged girlfriend, another woman who says she's his longtime girlfriend and his sisters, according to local media reports in Puerto Rico.'I am the actual girlfriend of Macho, and those who don't like it better not bring it,' said Cynthia Castillo, who claimed to be Camacho's girlfriend at the time of his death. 'They shouldn't be going after me. They should be thanking me for being with him at all times.' Castillo planted a kiss on the mouth of the slain boxer at the viewing and then walked to the area reserved for family, where she claimed her plate of food was upended. She got into an altercation with Gloria Fernandez, who claimed to have been Camacho's girlfriend for the past 25 years, as well as Camacho's sisters, Esther and Estrella. 'I went to get something to eat because Machito (Hector Camacho Jr.) told me to, and his ex-girlfriend (Fernandez) came up to me and told me that I had to leave,'.  Castillo told ESPN Deportes, showing a fresh scratch across her clavicle. 'I said no, so they threw my plate of food and attacked me, and I defended myself.' 

There was also pushing and shoving between former bantamweight champ Wilfredo Vazquez and Jorge Lozada, who said he's a member of the Camacho family, after Lozada allegedly tried to separate Vazquez's wife and Camacho's mother, Maria Matias, as the two embraced.

Couple things. First is that Macho was probably looking down on all this chaos and shaking his head and thrilled he was dead, just like Larry in the episode of Curb when he gave Richard Lewis his kidney (first 5 seconds)..

Second, I love the showmanship of the girlfriend who no one wanted there: "I'm the actual girlfriend of Macho and those who don't like it better not bring it". A true boxers girlfriend. But I got news for you hun, you ain't his "actual" girlfriend. If there's two of you fighting over him at his funeral, there's probably a few more who didn't go to the funeral. Not to mention he probably smashed every Puerto Rican broad he could touch gloves with. Either way, I got no doubt in my mind that Macho would agree the cliche "he's in a better place" holds true for him...even though, you know, he got shot in the head.

ROBERTO DI MATTEO FIRED

Dear Roberto,

Let me start off with: its you, not me. For the last few months, you've been there for some of the greatest nights of my life. Napoli, Benfica, Barca, and most of all, we had Munich. But you notice a trend there? None are English teams. The most notable win domestically when you took over was Torres' hat trick during the 6-1 slaughtering against QPR. you went 4-3-3 to end the league season last year. Started the year looking the champions the club is, slaughtering Arsenal and Spurs on the road. Then the Champions League started. 2-0 lead at home blown to Juventus and handled by Shakhtar in Ukraine. After the Shakhtar game, the club went 0-2-2 in the weeks leading up to this moment.

Back in May when the teams position in the league table was close to locked in to the Europa League, a MUST win game against Newcastle came up at The Bridge mid-week. After coming back from Barcelona and trouncing QPR. The lineup you put out that Wednesday night was unacceptable. Mata, Lampard, Essien, and (for the second game in a row) Drogba cannot all be on the bench at the same time. So after we got beat 2-0, I didn't trust you with making lineup adjustments again (not including putting Bertrand on the wing in the final). When the season started and it seemed the team had a set starting 11 and rotation, I wasn't surprised the team was dominating and was relieved most of the lineup choices were made for you. Then we started slipping. Instead of making lineup adjustments or tinkering with the formation at some point during the winless streak. You waited until a do or die game, on the road in Italy, to make the first formation change and you played essentially a 4-6-0. Got slaughtered 3-0 and it was curtains for the teams title defense and yourself

Having said all that, I'm sad you're leaving. Your positives outweigh your negatives.  You took over a club that was desperate to regain its identity as a European power and they did just that under your managing. The Napoli comeback, the semifinals against Barca, and of course Munich. No matter what happened between us while we were together and whatever happens with us in the future...we'll always have Munich.

Love,

Chelsea fan