2012/2013 CHAMPIONS LEAGUE PREVIEW

The Champions League is right up there with March Madness in terms of excitement. You never know whats gonna happen (depending on who's reffing). One thing I definitely can say about this year is that it won't touch last years winners

"THE VOICE" HAS BEEN OVER FOR WEEKS NOW

just give cassadee pope her trophy and call it a show
— Jeffrey Tartarkin (@Jtartarkin) November 20, 2012

  Are we about done here yet? I mean what else needs to happen before she can just collect her winnings. Nothings changed since last month. I knew she'd win then and I know she'll win now. I mean its a no brainer that she's way better than everyone else. Just glad everyone can see I've known for weeks she was a lock and happy she decided to throw it in everyones face with "Stupid Boy" last night. Just give the woman her trophy already (and my phone number)

AM I THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER PEED SITTING THE OPPOSITE WAY ON THE TOILET?

This episode was on tonight when I was writing and got me thinking that what butters is discussing here is whats known as taking a shit "AC Slater Style". Though I actually like the way Butters describes it because it actually sounds like it should/could make sense. I mean the top of the toilet if its flat would be perfect for your comic book and chocolate milk. I've never done it, mostly because I'm very structured when it comes to pooping, so something so unconventional would never fly with me. But I will admit and not ashamed to say that I have taken a piss like that before. First think you'll think if I'm gonna sit down, why not do it the right way. Two things: sitting down like that is only reserved for pooping for me. On top of that, since I can count how many times I've pissed like that on two hands, its always when I'm hungover or drunk. That way I can rest my head for 20 seconds and if I pass out, I won't be hunched over, straining the shit out of my back. 

PEOPLE REALLY THINK THE SAN FRAN QB SITUATION IS THE SAME AS BRADY AND BLEDSOE?

Grantland -"Q: Is it just me or does this 49ers QB reek of the Patriots situation when Bledsoe was injured and eventually replaced by Brady on a permanent basis?
— Matt, San Francisco

SG: Couldn't agree more. And that was even more polarizing at the time — people mistakenly thought Bledsoe was better than he was (I wasn't one of them), and they just couldn't accept that Brady was a better fit for the specific offense the Patriots had in 2001 (more precision, more dink-and-dunk, more sleight of hand). We never knew Brady was going to become TOM BRADY, but we knew there was something special about him, and that it was probably worth exploring (especially since Bledsoe wasn't really DREW BLEDSOE anymore)...Feels like the same thing is happening here with the Niners...I'm a little frightened of Kaepernick in January. And I wasn't frightened of Alex Smith. Same for Brady and Bledsoe 11 years ago. So yeah, I see the parallels."

I know the two examples I used above weren't the best two people to use. One a maniac ex-linebacker who spit in JJ Stokes' face and broke Dave Meggett's finger just because; and the other a traitor, sell-out, wanna be, the detestable Bill Simmons. But I've heard and read the same opinion from others and I just don't get it. 

The only thing thats similar is the fact both situations involve quarterbacks. Bledsoe goes down in week two after getting sternum'd by Mo Lewis. Brady comes in the next week and the Pats skull the Colts 44-13 and goes 5-3 (one of the loses being to the Rams who were the best team in the league) up until Bledsoe was finally cleared to play. Thats eight weeks to get a feel for what Brady was gonna do for the team and Belichick went with the guy who carried them into playoff contention. Eight weeks. 

Jim Harbaugh takes one week to rest Alex Smith and starts Kaepernick against JASON CAMPBELL and the Bears in San Fran. Then when Smith is healthy to play against the Saints, Harbaugh says Kaepernick has the "hot hand" and starts him again. Does a three point shooter in the NBA make a lay-up and say he's got the hot hand? To Kaepernicks credit, he played well against the Saints and I'm not saying he's not better than Smith, but Harbaugh clearly just wanted/needed and excuse to get Kaepernick on the field. (People can talk about how much balls Harbaugh has to make a change midseason like this, but he's kind of a pussy for not putting his money where his mouth is from the start of the season... Or, actually now that I think about it, he rope-a-doped the league and now has a pretty nasty quarterback with fresh legs, which kinda makes him pretty smart)

So what can we take from this? A few things: 1. A guy having two good weeks in the last half of the season isn't the same body of work as watching someone lead a team from the start of the year. 2. Jim Harbaugh was definitely pumped when he realized Alex Smith had a concussion and could start Kaepernick 3. Bill Simmons sucks

DAVID STERN HAS COMPLETELY LOST HIS SHIT

ESPN -The NBA fined the San Antonio Spurs $250,000 for withholding key players in Thursday night's game against the Heat. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich sent stars Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili, plus key role player Danny Green, on a commercial flight home instead of playing them in the nationally televised game so they could rest ahead of the Spurs' Saturday home game against the league-leading Memphis Grizzlies. Said NBA commissioner David Stern in a statement: 'The result here is dictated by the totality of the facts in this case. The Spurs decided to make four of their top players unavailable for an early-season game that was the team's only regular-season visit to Miami. The team also did this without informing the Heat, the media, or the league office in a timely way. Under these circumstances, I have concluded that the Spurs did a disservice to the league and our fans.' The league's statement said the Spurs were in violation of league policy reviewed with the board of governors in April 2010 against resting players in a manner 'contrary to the best interests of the NBA.'

Guy is fucking bat shit crazy. 250k????? He's obviously reached the old man "I don't give a shit about anything" stage of his life to fine a team like this because he didn't like it. How bout fining your schedule maker for having the Spurs play five games in seven nights and two HOME games in seven nights for the Heat. Just asinine on so many levels. Pretty sure Tim Duncan in like 42 years old, you expect him to play two back to backs a week? K bro. And I don't even give a shit about the Spurs. But I do hate David Stern with a fucking passion. But I guess after this I should start feeling bad for him since he's obviously becoming wicked senile. Probably days away from committing 51-50's in a Brentano's

DOG OF THE WEEK: BELLA & BRUNO

This week I got two dogs for "DOG" of the week, which has a "Lone Rangers" feel to it. But remember Bob Geller? These are Bob's two other sibilings. Bella is on our left, and Bruno is the black/white dog. Italian Greyhounds were never my thing, but they come from the Geller family, so they're alright in my book

MACHO CAMACHO PROBABLY FEELING DECENT ABOUT DYING RIGHT NOW

ESPN -"Several fights broke out during the second day of the viewing of the slain fighter Tuesday, including a scratching match between his alleged girlfriend, another woman who says she's his longtime girlfriend and his sisters, according to local media reports in Puerto Rico.'I am the actual girlfriend of Macho, and those who don't like it better not bring it,' said Cynthia Castillo, who claimed to be Camacho's girlfriend at the time of his death. 'They shouldn't be going after me. They should be thanking me for being with him at all times.' Castillo planted a kiss on the mouth of the slain boxer at the viewing and then walked to the area reserved for family, where she claimed her plate of food was upended. She got into an altercation with Gloria Fernandez, who claimed to have been Camacho's girlfriend for the past 25 years, as well as Camacho's sisters, Esther and Estrella. 'I went to get something to eat because Machito (Hector Camacho Jr.) told me to, and his ex-girlfriend (Fernandez) came up to me and told me that I had to leave,'.  Castillo told ESPN Deportes, showing a fresh scratch across her clavicle. 'I said no, so they threw my plate of food and attacked me, and I defended myself.' 

There was also pushing and shoving between former bantamweight champ Wilfredo Vazquez and Jorge Lozada, who said he's a member of the Camacho family, after Lozada allegedly tried to separate Vazquez's wife and Camacho's mother, Maria Matias, as the two embraced.

Couple things. First is that Macho was probably looking down on all this chaos and shaking his head and thrilled he was dead, just like Larry in the episode of Curb when he gave Richard Lewis his kidney (first 5 seconds)..

Second, I love the showmanship of the girlfriend who no one wanted there: "I'm the actual girlfriend of Macho and those who don't like it better not bring it". A true boxers girlfriend. But I got news for you hun, you ain't his "actual" girlfriend. If there's two of you fighting over him at his funeral, there's probably a few more who didn't go to the funeral. Not to mention he probably smashed every Puerto Rican broad he could touch gloves with. Either way, I got no doubt in my mind that Macho would agree the cliche "he's in a better place" holds true for him...even though, you know, he got shot in the head.

ROBERTO DI MATTEO FIRED

Dear Roberto,

Let me start off with: its you, not me. For the last few months, you've been there for some of the greatest nights of my life. Napoli, Benfica, Barca, and most of all, we had Munich. But you notice a trend there? None are English teams. The most notable win domestically when you took over was Torres' hat trick during the 6-1 slaughtering against QPR. you went 4-3-3 to end the league season last year. Started the year looking the champions the club is, slaughtering Arsenal and Spurs on the road. Then the Champions League started. 2-0 lead at home blown to Juventus and handled by Shakhtar in Ukraine. After the Shakhtar game, the club went 0-2-2 in the weeks leading up to this moment.

Back in May when the teams position in the league table was close to locked in to the Europa League, a MUST win game against Newcastle came up at The Bridge mid-week. After coming back from Barcelona and trouncing QPR. The lineup you put out that Wednesday night was unacceptable. Mata, Lampard, Essien, and (for the second game in a row) Drogba cannot all be on the bench at the same time. So after we got beat 2-0, I didn't trust you with making lineup adjustments again (not including putting Bertrand on the wing in the final). When the season started and it seemed the team had a set starting 11 and rotation, I wasn't surprised the team was dominating and was relieved most of the lineup choices were made for you. Then we started slipping. Instead of making lineup adjustments or tinkering with the formation at some point during the winless streak. You waited until a do or die game, on the road in Italy, to make the first formation change and you played essentially a 4-6-0. Got slaughtered 3-0 and it was curtains for the teams title defense and yourself

Having said all that, I'm sad you're leaving. Your positives outweigh your negatives.  You took over a club that was desperate to regain its identity as a European power and they did just that under your managing. The Napoli comeback, the semifinals against Barca, and of course Munich. No matter what happened between us while we were together and whatever happens with us in the future...we'll always have Munich.

Love,

Chelsea fan

DOG OF THE WEEK: NALA

This is the newest member of the Swan-Suhandron household. Owens new younger sister, which is kind of ironic cause it looks like she actually should be his younger sister cause they look pretty much identical. The only problem with her is that since she's a puppy, when they had people over the other night, they asked me to play flip cup with them and all I cared about was going and chilling with her on the couch..which I did

I'VE GOT A HIMMELBAUM STORY

Only my man Justin would ask people to write him stories about a time he hung out with them or whatever. I debated whether I was annoyed with that idea or if it was just J-Box being J-Box. Decided on the latter so I'll bite and give a quick story on how I met Justin:

Friend comes over my house when we were like 11 or 12 and says "you got to meet my friend Justin, he can fart on command, its amazing". I demanded to meet such a person and he brings Justin over to my house and literally the first things I ever heard Justin say to me were "Hey whats up?....Yeah you just pinch your penis really hard and push and you can fart whenever".

Happy birthday

YOU GOT SOME SCHMUTZ ON YOUR FACE, BRO

DM- "A Chinese man is recovering from surgery to remove huge, disfiguring facial tumors. Wu Qiang, 33, was born with a small bump on his face. But in 2005 the bump started to grow quickly and just a few years later his face was completely covered in unsightly tumors. Mr.Qiang added: My biggest hope is to support my family and be a volunteer to help others after my recovery"

I'm not gonna bash this guy for looking absolutely gross, but I gotta ask you Wu, in 2005 when your "bump" started to balloon into a face eating tumor, don't you think you should have tried to get it taken care of a little sooner than seven years later? And before people are like "well he had no money and shit" uhhh let me tell you that the day I wake up and a bump is a fucking millimeter bigger than the day before, I'm slicing that thing off with the sharpest object near me

CLASSIC BUFFALO

I literally burst out laughing at the pub at how pathetic that interception was. Sleep tight Fitzy!

VICTORY CENTER SPACE FOR SALE

Nothing like Pei-Wei with my girl and getting a good laugh for desert

DOG OF THE WEEK: HARLEY

This here is my girlfriends dog Harley. Any dog person knows the type of dogs that chihuahua's can be. Since I really like the girl, I'll just leave at they can be..difficult....Having said that, I knew that since I liked her before she liked me, any chance of me wooing her was going through that seven pound beast, so I brought out the big guns. Every time I went over there, I brought him a treat: Bil-Jac, Milkbones, rawhide and even string cheese..string cheese. Did it work? Not really sure about Harley cause he still is a whimp around me sometimes, but I did get a prettaayyy prettaayyy fine girl to date me, so I'd say it was a success. It also shows that the key to a woman's heart is through her dog.

DOG OF THE WEEK: RAMONA

Ramona here lives with Natalie&Alanna, two fashion designers who live in Williamsburg. Fashion designers with their own line+living in Williamsburg+dog most likely being named after the Ramones= hipster dog

Here's the link to their website

BRUTAL FOUL TO OPEN THE NBA SEASON

CRIMINAL

If I didn't know any better, I'd think Mark Clattenburg's wife blew every Chelsea player the week leading up to the game. It's the only legitimate reason I can think of for a referee to absolutely fuck another team like he did Chelsea today. Just disgusting. Obvious match-fixing and frankly, he should be arrested. Chelsea were the only team on the pitch today. Had an own goal then gave up a wicked soft goal off a cross. Then for 50 minutes, Chelsea pounded United's face into the ground. Mata's free kick was class and obviously Ramires comes through out of no where with the great header after a great build up. I mean it was just a clinic at this point. Then what happens? Ashley "SOFT AS COTTON" Young goes down like a fucking child when he's got a breakaway opportunity. Just as pussy as you can get. Making it worse, Clattenfuck sends Ivanovic off? WUSA reffing. No chance this is a straight red. And don't get me started on that horse shit diving call on Torres, Carrick or Evans whichever scumbag it was, got more of his leg than Ivanovic

 Fittingly enough, ManU scores an offside goal to win and Hernandez celebrates like he just scored a World Cup winner, the sniveling little cheat. Disgusting display of Anti-Chelsea sentiment. In the words of Michael Scott "THIS IS EGREGIOUS!"

DOG OF THE WEEK: OWEN

Mr.Brindle here looks like he's just one happy go lucky dog and is all smiles all the time...false. I'm sure this picture is a result of him being home with Mandy and Rhys all day with no threat of outsiders coming over. Cause the second I step foot in the house, the dog looks like I'm getting ready to take him to the pound

DOG OF THE WEEK: CARAMEL

Five week old Chihuahua..enough said.

HEAD ON A SWIVEL BRO

Hey Demaryius, how's your sternum, big guy? Score doesn't reflect the actual game. People are gonna talk about Manning with "almost another 4th quarter comeback" like Simms and Nantz were doing. Bullshit. If Ridley doesn't fumble while the Pats are driving, there's a 130% he scores again and finishes with 170yds. What we do know happened is Willis McGahee shit his pants and made that "almost" comeback non-existant. Pats D to the rescue. 

PS- Hey Stevan...no more fumbles

"BIG GAME" AT THE EMIRATES TOMORROW. YAWN.

Guess I figured I'd be more excited for the first game against a top 4 finisher from last year, but its Arsenal. But I am excited to watch that sniveling, whiney little bitch Arsene Wrenger throw a temper tantrum as the game gets away from him 

DOG OF THE WEEK: JULIO

Juuuulliiiiooooooooo (said like "ruuuuuuffffiiiioooo") was my neighbors dog who lived above us. She worked the midnight shift at a hospital, so we watched him a few times at night. The little Mexican guy loved coming over cause he loved Bruce. Would come in and sprint back and forth until Bruce would be like "aight bro chill, I see you" and go and say hello. Miss having this little amigo over for sleep overs. Even though he used to shit on my laundry bag all the time

DOG OF THE WEEK: SUNSHINE

Look at this sweet old gal. Lived in the building next to us, would see her and the second she got sight of me would start howling like an old wolf until I came over and gave her some TLC. Pitbulls, old and young, are incredible dogs

RUN IT BACK

TITLE DEFENSE/ FIRST EVER CLUB TO REPEAT STARTS TODAY. FUCK JUVENTUS. I WANT BARCA IN THE FIRST ROUND, THEN MADRID, THEN MUNICH THEN UNITED IN THAT ORDER. 

C'MON CHELSEAAAAAAAA

DOG OF THE WEEK: TIGER

You can't really tell from the picture, but this Mastiff is a fucking behemoth of a dog who lived on the first floor of our apartment building. First time I got close to him he growled at me and thought my life was over. Bruce was petrified of him. One day I was sitting on the stoop when he came back from a walk and I went to stand up and give him his space to get inside and he jumped on me for a full mount and put me right on my ass. Gave me a few kisses and went about his business. His owner thought it was hilarious. I pooped a little.

YAWN

9th straight opening day win. Mayo obliterates Nate Washington's brain. Hernandez scores. Gronkowski scores. Oh and the Pats have a running game also. Just the kind of game I needed

ITS OPENINGGGG NIIIIIIIGHT

Celebrated my birthday last night at Scarlet's. Fell in love with a stripper, smoked about 16 cigarettes, Hung over as shit. I don't have time for Jake Locker and his foolishness and the Titans thinking they can actually win today. Just please be a blowout so I can nurse my brain comfortable. 

As for the rest of the league...

DOG OF THE WEEK: BROOKLYN

I'm taking my birthday month to pay homage to the dogs I met when I lived in New Yrok. One of my favorite parts about the City was that no matter what neighborhood I was in, there were dogs.

That being said, there's no better dog to start with than my girl Brooklyn

(click the link below for the story. fair warning this blog is long and deep, cause I got feelings too)

DOG OF THE WEEK: STELLA

Steeelllllllllaaaaaaaaaa. Does this not look like a dog thats owner went to culinary school?? Look at her just sitting on the couch all like "ay pop, get me a beer fix me some chicken scarp immediately..with a mothafuckin milkbone on the side yo...and put the Gator game on the TV too, shiiiiit."

DOG OF THE WEEK: TEDDY

His father wouldn't agree, but I essentially raised this dog from a pup into the young man he is today. Came to me at Club Bow Wow just a few weeks old and now after seeing him everyday for several months, taught him right and wrong and showed him what lifeeeee is all about. When I left working there, he was one of the few dogs I actually missed getting to see everyday. But I had to go drop something off there earlier in the week and he was in there and before I even got to the office door, he heard my voice, he was going ballistic since he was hanging in there. Look how happy he was to see me. Makes a man feel good that a dog will be so loyal and remember him. Dogs...

OPENING DAY

Game was so boring that Rob and Simon challenged me to see how many Guinness I could drink in 40minutes. I got through six and my day is now completely shot. But I'll take wins like this all season, even if the last 80minutes are almost unbearable 

By the way...Eden Hazard is kind of good

DOG OF THE WEEK: LUCKY

Mini-Schanuzer here lives up to his breed by being LOUD AS FUCK all day at day care. Pretty sure I'm the only person that likes him there, but c'mon, he's pretty cute. Little smooth shiny coat. Plus, when he runs, its like his front legs don't beg. It'd he equivalent of not not moving your arms when you walk. It's hysterical watching him run at you

ALEX FERGUSON CALLS ARSENE WENGER AND TELLS HIM TO SELL RVP TO UNITED. WENGER SAYS "OK COOL"

All it took to convince him to let RVP play for ManU was Ferguson having to call Wenger? Really? Wouldn't be surprised if they transcript of their phone call becomes public and after Ferguson offered 23mill, we find out Wenger said something like "24 million pounds and I'll let you ass fuck me on midfield at Wembley because you're just not publicly humiliating me enough".  What is Arsene Wenger doing here anyway, whats his end game? Van Persie won't resign? He wants to leave this summer? Hey Arsene...HE HAS ANOTHER YEAR ON HIS CONTRACT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING.  The club made Fabregas stay like an extra 18 months probably just for him to play out his deal and he didn't even want to play for a club in England. Now he thinks its a solid thinking to sell his best player and the league MVP to a direct rival, a team they haven't been above in the league table since 2005? As a Chelsea fan I gotta admit I can get used to seeing Arsenal get burned and emasculated every summer. Players flat out saying they want to leave to have a chance to "win trophies". Being forced to wear jersey's then reluctantly having to take it off. And now we got rival managers calling up the Arsenal front office and telling them how its gonna be. Good luck to you Gunner fans this season, enjoy the most of it and be sure to thank Theo Walcott for his service before Chelsea come get him next summer. All it'll take is a phone call apparently

PS- Just want to say that from the other end of the spectrum, United getting RVP, I could give a shit. Big deal, they add a striker to Hernandez, Welbeck, and Rooney. None of them play midfield and Sir Alex doesn't seem to be the 4-2-4 type. So when they sign Wesley Sneijder or Luka Modric let me know. But until then, RVP or no RVP, Chelsea gonna cruise to the title this year

YEAH LIZ, WHO'S THE CUTE BOY???

If you cant see, first comment on this pic is some broad asking "who the cute boy is?". Anybody recognize him? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?? Buelllerrrrrrrr?

BONER CITY

Don't care what anyone thinks, I think Katy Perry is hot. So when her ass crack in right in my face and I know her tits are hanging out of her bathing suit, I'm gonna get excited about it. It science

DOG OF THE WEEK: SHON POOLE

Bichon's are my least favorite breed of dog. For every one cute one, there's 15 ugly ones. Which brings me to Shon here. I'm putting this chunk of a dog up beacause I like his name with his owners last name. Shon Poole. He looks exactly like a dog named Shon Poole would look. I mean look at this ridiculous thing. The main reason I like when this dog comes in is because his name reminds me of Jean-Paul from Seinfeld. I'm always like "ahh Shon-Poole Shon-Poole"

WOMAN HAS AN ITCHY EAR CAUSE A SPIDER WAS LIVING IN IT

Daily Mail -"She arrived at China's Changsha Central Hospital with an itchy ear, only to learn the cause was a spider that had crawled into the ear canal. To make things worse, doctors believe the arachnid had been in there for five days. Fortunately for the woman, there was some good news- doctors told her the problem would have been far worse if she had tried to scratch it. At first the medics planned to use tweezers to grab the spider and pull it out- but they were worried the creature might bite the patient. Instead, Dr. Liu Sheng and his colleagues poured a saline solution into the ear and waited for the spider to leave on its own. Fingers crossed it didn't lay any eggs..."

Fingers crossed it didn't lay any eggs, huh? If this happened to me, you know what would have also been in my ear next to the spider? The bullet that I would have shot into my head. I mean I almost crash when I'm driving when I see a spider inside my car, so spider in my body isn't gonna fly with me. Props to this woman for not scratching it either. The first hint of an itch in my ear results in my scratching it within seconds

And I would have loved to have been in the room when the doctor put the scope in her ear and saw 29 eyeballs staring at him. Priceless

DOG OF THE WEEK: ANCHOR

Doesn't Anchor seem like it should be a male dogs name? Either way, she's like a year and a half old, a chocolate lab. I think her being still for 3 seconds to take this picture is the longest I've seen her go without running around. The picture below doesn't count cause it was after she body slammed Reef

DOG OF THE WEEK: JAKE

This is my man Jake, obviously a Weimaraner. Looks similar to Bob but Jake has wicked dog ADD. It took me about 30 tries to get a decent picture of him and this describes him perfectly. Another Krazee Eyez All-Star

                                       

DOG OF THE WEEK: KUNU

Pulled into my neighborhood after work and saw this guy strolling around by himself. Got out of the car to see if he'd come up to me, but he pooped instead, then sprinted to my car and jumped and got in the back seat. Called the owner on his tag and the kid was in NEW JERSEY. His cousin was supposed to be watching him and eventually came and got him.

Side note: it took me about 3 hours to figure out where the name Kunu came from..

DOG OF THE WEEK: PRECIOUS

Yeah, not someone I knows dog, but the movie was on recently and what better dog to have up on Friday the 13th??

DOG OF THE WEEK: I HAVE 7 FINGERS

Dog of the week as been canceled this week due to the fact that I blacked out on the fourth and in the middle of winning seven games of beer pong in a row, I held on to an M-180 just a smidgen too long. Classic American move by me. 

PS- I know how to throw a party. Couples getting in fights. Girl fights over guys. Couples meeting in my pool. Chicken fights. I know whats up.

PPS- To the ladies out there: whenever you think hunch punch is a good idea...I promise you its not.

SWEET INK, MATE

DM -"A man who claims that a popstar helped him through a divorce has celebrated his musical hero, by getting 15 tattoos of Miley Cyrus all over his body Carl McCoid, 39, from Bridlington, East Yorks, has spent over £500 having tributes to the Disney singing sensation inked onto his skin. The domestic cleaner is now a living tribute to the 19-year-old American singer, and has even splashed out £150 to have her face painted onto his left arm. He said: 'I am hoping that Miley’s agent will hear about me via Twitter, and then she will pass the message on to Miley. 'That way I could actually end up meeting up her. If I did, then I would die. I would definitely die.'"

Divorced, huh? No shit. I mean a guy who would end up getting tattoo's of Miley all over his body and her name and shit seems like a total catch. And I hope he turned to her music again to help cure his depression when he hopefully realized how bullshit that tattoo looks. Why's he got her so EMO Goth looking here? I'd like to see how this sacks up against another bizarre celeb face tattoo I've seen recently. Met this girl at the pub with this Rod Stewart tattoo...Rod Stewart

Looks like a character from "Interview with a Vampire"

Let me know who you think has the better tat in the comment section: