TRUE OR FALSE: A PIGEON FRACTURED A GUYS SKULL IN TWO PLACES CAUSING BRAIN BLEEDING, BROKE HIS LEG, FRACTURED HIS HAND, AND CRACKED HIS RIBS

Daily Mail -A motorcyclist survived an extraordinary crash after he was knocked out by a low flying pigeon, accidentally hit the throttle on his bike and accelerated to 140mph- while unconscious. Matthew Brealy, 38, collapsed when the bird smashed through his helmet visor and shattered his glasses as he drove along a stretch of road. But he remained on the powerful 1,000 cc Suzuki GSXR which was sent hurtling a further 200 yards before it plowed into an oak tree. The bike disintegrated on impact...Mr.Brealy suffered two skull fractures with bleeding to his brain, a broken leg, cracked ribs, and a fractured hand following the crash in April...'Police told me afterwards they estimated that the bike had gone from 50mph to around 140mph in a matter of seconds but thankfully for me it happened on a straight road which is why I probably didn't fall off the machine...Police confirmed a pigeon was the caused of the accident. My visor was left with a hole in it and I was covered in pigeon blood and feathers...I am 99% back to normal but I have had to learn to walk again but with the support of my wife Emma, I was determined to get on my feet and back to work'".

I've seen three motorcycle accidents in my life. The first was kinda funny cause the guy just kinda tipped over on his bike at a stop sign. The second was a little nutty cause the guy spun out on an exit ramp but he was ok. The third was absolutely FUCKED cause I saw a guy die. I looked out my window to see him sliding down I-95 on his back after his bike smashed into those barrels of sand separating the highway and exit lane. Safe to say I'm very anti-motorcycle. Anyway, I obviously feel bad for this guy but I would have loved to have been the room when the cops and his wife broke the news to him about how the accident happened. Probably something like this: 

Guy-"Did i swerve to avoid traffic or something? Or did I get hit by another car or bike?"

Cops-"Uhhh actually a bird flew into your face and instead of falling off right away, you accelerated 100mph and smashed your bike into smitherines against an oak tree"

Can you imagine how mind fucked this was when he found this out? A fucking pigeon almost killed this guy...A PIGEON. Just proves that motorcycles are just moving death machines and pigeons have no regard for humans in any capacity, whether its shitting all over our stuff or trying to murder us.