Daily Mail -A woman who admitted to biting off her boyfriend's testicles has been warned she could be jailed. Maria Topp, 44, from Wreckenton, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, pleaded guilty to grievous bodily harm at Newcastle Crown Court. She bit Martin Douglas, her partner of five years, during a drunken brawl at 4am at his flat in February..Mr. Douglas needed emergency surgery to reattach his genitals after the attack..'On the day in question, there is no doubt they were heavily in drink..There was an argument, a brawl begins and during the course of that, Ms.Topp admits she unlawfully bit the defendants scrotum'..The judge said 'I have no idea what I'm going to do with you..All options are open and that will include locking you up.."
Time out, tiiiiiiiiime out here people. First of all I held my nuts reading the entire article making sure they were safe. Second of all, "she unlawfully" bit this dude's sac off with her wicked snaggletooth? Pretty sure that's never lawful. Third of all and most importantly, HOW THE FUCK DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN. Like nothing about this is adding up. Not gonna lie, before I showered earlier after reading this, I was checking out my cock and balls in the mirror and contemplated the logistics of how its even possible for something like this to happen in a fight. How did this guy allow her to even get her face near his junk to pull any kind of stunt like this? All I could think was that it she did it like how you eat soup dumplings. Cause a scrotum, in essence, could be looked at like a diesel soup dumpling. Oh and how do you even salvage this and attach it back? Last I checked, you can't fix a soup dumpling after opening it. Jesus I'm about to make myself puke.
I held my lady parts through out the whole thing...
ReplyDelete