FIRST TIME MISSING FLORIDA-GEORGIA WEEKEND IN 5 YEARS

Billy Mays knew how to get down for the Worlds Largest Cocktail Party 

Seeing as how North Florida wasn't known for being much of a party/sports school, the best weekend of the year in the four and a half years at UNF was of course Florida-Georgia weekend. Didn't give a shit who won the game, just was trying to get as fucked up as possible tailgating with Big Jon and trying not to get my ass kicked or lost downtown. Just a great time. I was in Jacksonville every year for it up until this year. So feeling nostalgic I figured I'd recap the highlights of my five weekends there, starting with my freshman year to last year when I flew down from NYC:

1. Only highlight from my freshman year was having my first real college slut encounter. Couple girls come up to Justin and I while we were posting up at Hooters with Justin's brother, start small talking. Then I hear one girl go "I want the one in the green shirt". Yeah, that'd be yours truly in the green shirt. We hooked up

2. Had 8 of my boys come stay at the apartment for the weekend. After two rounds of "strikeouts" for everyone, we pack into a mini van cab to go downtown. Already belligerent, I go "fucking van is way too small, this is bullshit", Justin's bro goes "no swearing, there's a child in the back". I say fuck off and then look in the back, there was a child smiling at me. Then I announce that if I see some girl (don't know if i should say the name), that I'd be making out with her that night. Saw her at Ruby Tuesday's, we made out. I got game. Oh and then the next night the Red Sox won the world series. Win Win WIn

3. Anyone want to take a guess on what else could make Florida-Georgia weekend even better? How's bout a NEIL MOTHERFUCKING DIAMOND concert sound? Thanks my dime friend Allie Tucker and her mom who gave me and Ken Kenstein free tickets

4. Not as classy as Neil, but a Ludacris concert the next year wasn't a bad way to start of the weekend. Especially when the first thing he says on stage is "Ay UNF...where the girls with the clean pussies at?!!?". My girl Jordyn and her three fine friends showed up at my apt at 430am to crash, woke up at nine for a Florida-Georgia breakfast of OE's and beer pong before heading downtown. Rubin in the picture above dressed up like Billy Mayes since the game landed on Halloween. He filled an oxyclean bottle with vodka and was spritzing everyone with soap tasting booze. Afternoon ended with me trading BBQ ribs for a blunt with the lady whose house we parked our car at when she was having a block party

5. My last Florida Georgia trip was spent like we were old men. Stayed at my old roommates beach house, which was tight. Since Four Loko's were all over the news, we tried them for the first time, had two each..big mistake on top of 5 or 6 beers. After BBQing, went to Krystal for steamer pack desert. Hit on the gross girl at the counter who was also working the McD's breakfast drive through the next morning. Little awkward when you've blacked out and the girl giving me my McGriddle says "you were too funny last night".

Somewhere lost was my friend offering to stab the homeless guy who was bringing us to our car since we were lost downtown at 1 and giving a ride home to some random blacked out girl who was begging people for rides. To say thanks to us, she showed us, and everyone in parking, her tits and tried to finger some dudes asshole, or "sneezer" as she called it, who was walking in front of us. Was not fun getting her off the hook from that. When we got off the highway, she had dominated a 22oz beer and to get rid of it, she rolled down the window and smashed it on the street. Top 10 most awesome things I've ever seen a chick do.

I know Barstool had a blog about Florida-Georgia the other day, but it seriously is an unbelievable time and awesome weekend. Just pure chaos. Who doesn't love chaos?